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UNITATO

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inabasket:

Colleges don’t offer this as a major so what’s the fucking point

(Source: robertdafoto, via manda)

pulpfanfiction:

onslaughtsix:

askradicalgoodspeed:

tumblewhoreo:

Not gonna lie some guy literally walked down my road an hour ago drawing faces on everybody’s cars

What a cockmunch

Like, he could have been nice and actually wiped their cars off

but instead he drew faces on them as if to say “I was here and put effort in to do something, but it was something useless.”

image

(Source: robotindisguise, via sorry)

not-thefunniestblog:

"oh you’re not doing anything so i guess you can help me with th-“
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image

 

(via sorry)

makochantachibanana:

theblogofeternalstench:

I didn’t want to go to an engagement party, so I was asked to babysit my sister’s ridiculous dog instead.

you’ve made the right choice

(via sorry)

Guy on train: I'd fuck you if you didn't have so many tattoos.
Me: *turns up music*
Guy: I said I'd fuck you if you didn't have so many tattoos!
Me: *takes off headphones* Leave. Me. Alone.
Guy: Why the fuck do you have so many tattoos?
Me:
Guy: Are you fucking deaf as well as a piece of trash?
Lady by door: Hey. Leave her alone.
Guy: Are you her trash girlfriend? Fucking dykes, all tattooed like fucking men. Disgusting waste of pussy.
Lady: *moves forward, carefully moves jacket so only I can see the badge on her belt* Are you okay?
Me: Fine. Just wish he'd go away.
Lady cop: I can make that happen.
Guy: Oh, yeah, bitch? Who the fuck are you? I'll kill you!
Lady cop: And that's what I was waiting for. *grabs guy, holds him against the door* Harassing women on the train was enough, but you just threatened a cop. You're battin' a thousand tonight.
Entire train: *applauds*

cataradical:

i will return for the child within one month

this is your warning

(Source: lolgifs.net, via gnarly)

al-grave:

Baby hippos are the best

(via terrakion)

unclefather:

jesuschristvevo:

would you like some cream cheese on your beagle

keep your cream cheese away from my dog

(via succeeding)

merlinsbearditsthedoctor:

scottish:

remember when these pieces of shit were everywhere and they were the best thing ever
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and when you were too old to play with them you would just randomly move one when no one was looking

(via ven0moth)

antisociallysplendid:

someone-not-me:

dent-arthur-dent:

drarna:

i love how the two most cited love stories of all time are romeo & juliet and titanic and they both involve teenagers who knew each other for less than a week

and Leonardo DiCaprio played the male lead in both them.

Without winning an oscar for either

somehow we always end up here

(Source: neptunain, via oknope)